Welcome to The Spirit of Hospice Blog. I am starting with the ending. I never wanted to talk or think about death. I kind of ignored the process when my parents were dying -- years apart, but I didn't want to be part of that experience. Then the love of my life, my husband of thirteen years was diagnosied with stage four lung cancer and suddenly I was ready to talk about death, to face death head on, to ask for help, and to eventually turn to hospice as a philosophy and an approach toward death that kept love, light, laughter and joy into the process.
Talking about the end is really starting prehaps the most important coversation we will ever have: how do we want to die? Will we be prepared, will we be fearful? Will we inspire others to appreciate life more?
Hospice is my new passion --- really? Is'n't hospice about death? M We should know so much about death and we know so little. How do we prepare for death, ours and our loved ones? We all get a diagnosis of death the minute we take our first breath. There are, from that moment on, no promises. There are plenty of expectations about a long, healthy, fulfilling life, so few of us want but that is just not always the way it plays out.
Since death is such a real part of life, why do we ignore it? It isn't just a word, it is a process, or rather a result of having been alive.
But think about it, if there had been no preparation, no planning, no celebrating about the anticipation of life we would have just plopped into our parents world. Most times women know they are pregnant by the time the baby is ready to exit the womb and enter our world.
Mothers usually get lots of signals that a birth is coming. Symptoms of childbirth come along as a natural steps to not only Her body changes, her mood swings help point to the direction that ‘something’s up’… her extended stomach indicate either a huge shift in eating habits with the diet being mostly Carbs and hot fudge sundaes, or something wonderful is happening, something almost mystical is going on inside the pregnant woman's body. Around nine months after inception the baby arrives, often with lots of preparation.
When we are talking about a diagnoses of a life -limiting illness we usually have months prior to death. We can use that time to prepare, or we can avoid the topic. What would happen if a baby just showed up in the living room one day. That's what happens in some folks life when they are suddenly given the diagnosis that life is ending...sooner than later.
Our job is to talk about death early so there are as few surprises as possible.
